If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
