med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
