you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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