It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
