This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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