How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
