I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
