i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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