Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize