Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
last night I used snow as a chaser
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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