"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
