I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
My liver just had a heart attack.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
