I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
