I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize