I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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