Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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