can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
