I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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