i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
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