i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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