Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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