I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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