New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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