It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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