I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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