At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
