honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
