we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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