Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
