Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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