Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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