The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
