i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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