I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize