1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
