people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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