Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
