So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize