Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
