Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
