I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
