ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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