I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
