Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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