5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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