it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
