the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
we're so committed to being not committed
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
