Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
