My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
