i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You ruined the universe
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
