I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
