He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
