i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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