Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
