Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
