So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
