He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Vodka?
Forever.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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