My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
