I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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