Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
