Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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