I think scott just propositioned me for sex
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
