I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Buhtt sex?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
