I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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