I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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