The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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