Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
