I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
