ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
wow bdsm is so cute
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
