My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
