Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My vagina is officially offended.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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