After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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