I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
