Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
