I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
