Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
