We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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