He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
