My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
