I'm going to jail i love you
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
