he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
