Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
