Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize