i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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